Dear Kiki

A few days ago, I made a joke Tinder account with friends, with a fake age, job, etc., but all the pictures were my own. Turns out, I really hit it off with a guy and he was still interested after I told him my real information. The thing is, he’s 23 and I’m 17. Is there any hope for a relationship?

I met this girl and she’s amazing. I wasn’t sure if she was into me, but we slept together. Thing is, she has a lot of friends and suitors and I don’t know if I make the cut. I don’t have the money to take her out and I felt bad when she paid last time. Now I’m thinking I have lost her because the only time we communicate is when I text her and she seems like she’s being nice.

I am a woman in my later 20s who has been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He is my best friend; I couldn’t be happier with him! The issue does not lie with my boyfriend or our relationship, but with his ex-girlfriend.

I’m a little blown away by how emotionally and physically intimate we had been for it to suddenly turn so cordial/superficial, literally overnight, without any major incident (besides her move) to provoke the change.

We have a thin-walled apartment, and while I try to be a considerate neighbor, she just lets it rip every time we get busy. The neighbors are starting to retaliate with drums and the Ramones, and we got our window egged one night.

I trusted him to retrieve ~200 US dollars owed to me by my former landlord as well as two suitcases to hold onto until I could come back and get them. He was happy to do this. Here’s the problem: I fly back to his country tomorrow and for the past more than two weeks, he has been virtually and mysteriously unresponsive.

My roommate has a sugar daddy. When she first got started, she explained to me that she had an intimate relationship with an older man that also happened to buy her things and occasionally helped her pay her bills. At first, I was completely supportive, and even considered becoming a sugar baby as well. But then she started becoming obsessed.

I’m in grad school at UIowa. In one of my classes, there is a really cute, quirky, smart guy. He’s young and I don’t know if he’s gay or not. I’m horrible at this kind of thing, but I want to ask him on a date. What should I do?

Dear Kiki, my husband and I were discussing dick size the other night. I asked if he’d ever measured his size. He said, “Probably; who wouldn’t? All I know, though, is at least it’s not so big I pass out.” “What?” I exclaimed. “Yep, some dudes dicks are so big the blood rush makes them pass out.” I am convinced this is an urban myth. Thought you would be more fun to ask than Google!

Dear Kiki, I’ve been dating a really wonderful girl for about three months. Things are going great, and we spend almost all our free time together. There’s just one problem — she has a really long toe hair. It’s just one hair on one toe, but it’s a really long hair. I find myself thinking more and more about the hair and why she doesn’t get rid of it. Should I ask her about the hair, or would that make me sound like jerk?