Do you have any practical (or spiritual) suggestions for rebuilding trust after it has been violated, while also granting space for privacy and autonomy? Life feels much too fragile to spend it suspicious of someone you love. —Wary but Willing Dear Wary but Willing, I’m so sorry you’re in this position. Violations of trust can […]
Dear Kiki
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Too many of my conversations come back to haunt me
It is difficult for me to keep grievances about people who hurt me to myself, and it seems unavoidable that one of these conversations will come back to haunt me. What begins with feeling slighted becomes vilification of others and character assassination, which I often express liberally with confidants and less trusted acquaintances alike. My […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Why does getting in the mood feel like work?
I have always had a lower sex drive than my partner, and I know that can be natural in a relationship, but recently it has felt like a problem. It frequently feels like I have some kind of block. Either because I’m stressed, or tired, or my stomach hurts, or I am just not really in the mood.
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: My partner never wants to get married. I do.
My partner doesn’t want to get married (like at all, ever, in general), but I like the idea of it. It’s not a dealbreaker for me, but it does make me a little sad to think of not marrying the love of my life. What should I do for closure? Like, is there a way […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Will noticing our nocturnal activities scar the baby?
My partner and I have a 5-month-old who sleeps in a bassinet in the same room as us. We are wondering: When does inadvertently witnessing spontaneous late-night activity potentially scar the kiddo? It’s nothing wild, obvs; we save that for when the baby has naptime in the nursery. —Impromptu Canoodler For a technical answer to […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: When should I tell them I’m asexual?
Dear Kiki, As an asexual person, is there a certain time and place to bring up my sexuality when dating that won’t deter people but will let them know I am someone who takes things very slow in all aspects of the word? —Proceeding with Caution Dear Proceeding with Caution, The slow and steady approach […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: My partner and I are demoting each other
My partner is my best friend. We are ethically nonmonogamous and are going to start scaling back our relationship to make ways for different primary partners. Any advice about how to handle this or bumps in the road to expect? —Meticulously Unweaving Congratulations! This is such a gift that you and your friend are giving […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’m still in my sexual prime. He isn’t.
Dear Kiki, I’m an older lady, 40s and have been with a guy (also 40s) for a while. I have always been very sexual, I wouldn’t say hypersexual, but ya know, I like it and prefer to have sex regularly. Anyway, here I am, in my prime with a sweet guy who is no longer […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: How would you approach a couple about swinging?
Dear Kiki, How would you approach a new couple about swinging? Dear Seeking Swingers, The first and most important answer to your question is: together! Don’t succumb to the temptation to divide and conquer. Get to know them individually, sure, but no floating the issue to one or the other of them separately to “feel […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I need to get back out there…
Dear Kiki, My married friend is getting separated and he’s already ready to get back out there. I haven’t been out there since before he got married. This makes me feel ashamed, but not enough to do anything about it. What WOULD make me feel ashamed enough? Dear Ashamed Enough, OK, first things first: Shame […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’m new in town. Where can I meet a sexy guy?
Dear Kiki, I’m new in town… how can I meet a sexy guy over 50 to hang out with?! Iowan00b Dear Iowan00b, Welcome! I hope you’re settling in well to your new digs. Moving can be tough on a variety of levels, so I’m pleased you’ve decided to reach out for assistance on this aspect […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Should I warn my ex’s current partner that she’s cheating?
Dear Kiki, A few weeks ago I found out through Instagram reels of all things and confirmed through a friend that my now ex-girlfriend cheated on her current partner with me. Should I go through the effort of getting the partner’s contact information to tell them or sit this one out? Kiss and Tell Dear […]
