The anxiety that comes from living in the midst of a global pandemic is not exactly an aphrodisiac. For many of us, sex is the last thing on our minds. […]
Sex Advice
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Is it irresponsible to date around during a pandemic?
Questions about love and sex in the Iowa City-Cedar Rapids area can be submitted to dearkiki@littlevillagemag.com, or anonymously using this form. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and […]
Posted inCommunity/News
Seizing your pleasure — oh, and a beginner’s guide to anal play
Tasked with picking a fun and fluffy topic for my pre-Valentine’s Day column, I sat down to write around 1,200 words on anal sex — and found myself lacking in motivation. Musings on plugs and pegging were soon overshadowed by news about bushfires, plane crashes and impeachment trials. How am I supposed to write a fun-filled article about
Posted inCommunity/News
Iowa’s kink community wants to show you the ropes
Kinks — sexual desires attached to specific objects, acts or body parts that aren’t necessarily sexual in and of themselves — tend to be taboo at the dinner table, but they’re more common than you might think. The Journal of Sex Research found one in three people have experimented with paraphilia, or unusual sexual interests, at some
Posted inCommunity/News
Dear Kiki: I can’t stop fantasizing about having a hot, no-strings-attached affair
Dear Kiki, I’ve noticed lately that normal monthly ovulation-related horniness manifests as a really strong desire to screw around on my partner. It drives me to distraction and I enjoy every second! I feel like I’d risk it all in the span of two days just to screw around for a good time. The hunt! The escape! The danger! The hot, no-strings-attached sex! I
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: What is the right amount of sex in a marriage?
Dear Kiki, I have a very personal question. I love my husband more than anything else in the world, but over the past few years we have been having very little sex (perhaps once a month). We still “get along” amazingly well and he’s still my best friend, but the fact that we don’t have sex very often is always in the back of my mind (and his, too).
Posted inCommunity/News
From the ‘naughtiness factor’ to a search for power, erotic fantasies follow a formula
Think back to the first time you felt sexy feelings. I’m pretty sure my first “tingly” thoughts involved watching David Bowie in Labyrinth, with his very impressive bulge. I also distinctly remember sneaking a peek at softcore porn on staticy channels like HBO or Cinemax late at night. (Think of the TV screen in Poltergeist, but instead of a swirly ghost
Posted inCommunity/News
Fight fatphobia — stop commenting on other people’s bodies
“When you’re overweight, your body becomes a matter of public record in many respects,” wrote Roxane Gay in her book Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body. “Your body is constantly and prominently on display. People project assumed narratives onto your body and are not at all interested in the truth of your body, whatever that truth might be.
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I think my friend’s husband is trying to start an affair
One of my best friends was recently married to a wonderful man who I think is a perfect fit for her. After the wedding he began reaching out to me via Facebook Messenger in order to — as I first assumed — get to know me better. However, the conversation on his end soon shifted from typical banter to topics that make me feel uncomfortable
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: My children call my current relationship ‘disgusting.’ Are they right?
About a month ago I developed a sexual relationship with my significant other’s son. My children have now disowned me calling the relationship disgusting, a poor decision, and inappropriate. The way I see it, other than the age gap of 25 years, we are both single, both adults, we are not related. Do you think my children are correct in their perception of this relationship and if so, for what reasons?
Posted inCommunity/News
Shalisa Gladney of RVAP talks relationships, ‘consent culture’ and writing your own rules
I gave Shalisa Gladney a hug when she emerged from her office to greet me at the University of Iowa Women’s Resource and Action Center. During our conversation, much of which focused on relationships and consent, Gladney admitted she is not a hugger — I had neglected to check before going in for an embrace. But she
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Where can I find other BDSM enthusiasts in the Iowa City area?
“I’m a 65-year-old, semi-retired, BDSM-loving, cross-dressing, kinky, fetishy baby-boomer in decent condition. I’m not afraid to be beaten until I cry. I’m highly breast-envious. I’m just looking for someone to love and play with, but the women I’ve fallen for have never been into this stuff.”
