I might be too reliant on fantasizing during sex. When I’m engaged in these super hot private erotic narratives, separate from the connection I have with my partner, I know I’m not being fully present with them. Plus it just feels like a crutch since fantasizing is what helps get me there most reliably. Naturally […]
Sex Advice
Posted inCommunity/News
Dear Kiki: I’m interested in the interstitium
First time inquirer with you here. I’ve been fascinated by how our interstitium connects and informs stimuli to erogenous zones; further, how those intersect with meridians discovered by the ancients, further yet, how that process interfaces with brain chemistry and so forth. I know there’s more to it from a connectivity standpoint, but I thought […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Why does getting in the mood feel like work?
I have always had a lower sex drive than my partner, and I know that can be natural in a relationship, but recently it has felt like a problem. It frequently feels like I have some kind of block. Either because I’m stressed, or tired, or my stomach hurts, or I am just not really in the mood.
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Will noticing our nocturnal activities scar the baby?
My partner and I have a 5-month-old who sleeps in a bassinet in the same room as us. We are wondering: When does inadvertently witnessing spontaneous late-night activity potentially scar the kiddo? It’s nothing wild, obvs; we save that for when the baby has naptime in the nursery. —Impromptu Canoodler For a technical answer to […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: When should I tell them I’m asexual?
Dear Kiki, As an asexual person, is there a certain time and place to bring up my sexuality when dating that won’t deter people but will let them know I am someone who takes things very slow in all aspects of the word? —Proceeding with Caution Dear Proceeding with Caution, The slow and steady approach […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: My partner and I are demoting each other
My partner is my best friend. We are ethically nonmonogamous and are going to start scaling back our relationship to make ways for different primary partners. Any advice about how to handle this or bumps in the road to expect? —Meticulously Unweaving Congratulations! This is such a gift that you and your friend are giving […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’m still in my sexual prime. He isn’t.
Dear Kiki, I’m an older lady, 40s and have been with a guy (also 40s) for a while. I have always been very sexual, I wouldn’t say hypersexual, but ya know, I like it and prefer to have sex regularly. Anyway, here I am, in my prime with a sweet guy who is no longer […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: How would you approach a couple about swinging?
Dear Kiki, How would you approach a new couple about swinging? Dear Seeking Swingers, The first and most important answer to your question is: together! Don’t succumb to the temptation to divide and conquer. Get to know them individually, sure, but no floating the issue to one or the other of them separately to “feel […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I need to get back out there…
Dear Kiki, My married friend is getting separated and he’s already ready to get back out there. I haven’t been out there since before he got married. This makes me feel ashamed, but not enough to do anything about it. What WOULD make me feel ashamed enough? Dear Ashamed Enough, OK, first things first: Shame […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’m new in town. Where can I meet a sexy guy?
Dear Kiki, I’m new in town… how can I meet a sexy guy over 50 to hang out with?! Iowan00b Dear Iowan00b, Welcome! I hope you’re settling in well to your new digs. Moving can be tough on a variety of levels, so I’m pleased you’ve decided to reach out for assistance on this aspect […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Should I warn my ex’s current partner that she’s cheating?
Dear Kiki, A few weeks ago I found out through Instagram reels of all things and confirmed through a friend that my now ex-girlfriend cheated on her current partner with me. Should I go through the effort of getting the partner’s contact information to tell them or sit this one out? Kiss and Tell Dear […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I don’t jive with casual intimacy — but I don’t want to be a prude (or alone)
Dear Kiki, Where do I begin? I do not jive with casual intimacy… and I feel like a prude for it. As a young woman I thought if I could have sex like my peers it would be fun and I would feel empowered. While the temporary connections satisfied me in the moment, time and […]
