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Dear Kiki: Should I become a prostitute?

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Questions about love and sex in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area can be sent to dearkiki@littlevillagemag.com (queries can also be sent anonymously using this form). Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online.

Dear Kiki

Dear Kiki,

If I’ve wanted to be a prostitute for over 15 years (since my early 20s), I should do it, right? I mean, it stands to reason that this isn’t a phase since it’s been so long. I feel like I’ve considered all potentially terrible outcomes and it still seems worth it. I don’t think I’m naïve or over-glamorizing it or anything. I just think I’d be really fucking good at it. Please advise!

––Wannabe

Dear Wannabe,

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a backup dancer on tour and in videos. I should do it, right? Well, now that I’m middle-aged, have kids and live in Iowa, the likelihood is nil, and unlike you, I wouldn’t be really fucking good at it — anymore.

In advising you on whether or not to become a prostitute, I will need to make some assumptions: You don’t seem to be making this decision based on financial need, but because the idea of being a prostitute turns you on. Second, your relationship status must either be single or really open and honest. Third, you must not fear being murdered.

Obviously, you enjoy sex. I do, too. But the sex a prostitute has is not based on the prostitute’s desire. The client is only paying for their own desire.

I still want to be a backup dancer, but now it’s just a fantasy. I would suggest you explore your fantasies about being a prostitute before making it a reality.

–xoxo, Kiki

This article was originally published in Little Village issue 226.


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