Dear Kiki: Should I become a prostitute?

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Dear Kiki

Dear Kiki,

If I’ve wanted to be a prostitute for over 15 years (since my early 20s), I should do it, right? I mean, it stands to reason that this isn’t a phase since it’s been so long. I feel like I’ve considered all potentially terrible outcomes and it still seems worth it. I don’t think I’m naïve or over-glamorizing it or anything. I just think I’d be really fucking good at it. Please advise!


Dear Wannabe,

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a backup dancer on tour and in videos. I should do it, right? Well, now that I’m middle-aged, have kids and live in Iowa, the likelihood is nil, and unlike you, I wouldn’t be really fucking good at it — anymore.

In advising you on whether or not to become a prostitute, I will need to make some assumptions: You don’t seem to be making this decision based on financial need, but because the idea of being a prostitute turns you on. Second, your relationship status must either be single or really open and honest. Third, you must not fear being murdered.

Obviously, you enjoy sex. I do, too. But the sex a prostitute has is not based on the prostitute’s desire. The client is only paying for their own desire.

I still want to be a backup dancer, but now it’s just a fantasy. I would suggest you explore your fantasies about being a prostitute before making it a reality.

–xoxo, Kiki

This article was originally published in Little Village issue 226.

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