Relationship Advice Archives

Dear Kiki: My boyfriend is bothered by my bisexuality

Posted on Jun 7, 2018 by Dear Kiki

My boyfriend is wonderful and feminist and sex positive, but he has issues with me being bisexual. It’s not that he’s openly raged at me or anything. It’s just that whenever it happens to come up, you can see the micro-flicker of discomfort on his face that he’s trying to suppress. I know it’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable at the idea of your partner having a past, but he feels especially threatened by the idea of me checking out a girl over a guy (when I actually don’t check out anyone; I’m too in love with him to really notice anyone else in that way). […]

Dear Kiki: Will BDSM aggravate my mental health issues?

Posted on Jun 7, 2018 by Dear Kiki

My wife and I have regularly engaged in BDSM throughout our relationship. I’m mostly dominant, but we switch on very rare occasion, and it’s something I’d like to explore more. However, I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression this year and have self-harmed several times. Is engaging in sex that could involve degrees of pain and humiliation a particularly bad idea considering my current mental health, even if we’re both enthusiastic about it? […]

Dear Kiki: What are some good songs for the bedroom?

Posted on May 3, 2018 by Dear Kiki

Can you recommend some let’s-get-it-on music that’s not “Let’s Get It On”? In other words, how would you set the scene without being heavy-handed and melodramatic? I’m open to all genres of music, but not a huge fan of sappy romantic tunes. […]

Dear Kiki: A fake Tinder profile got me a real catch (maybe)

Posted on May 3, 2018 by Dear Kiki

A few days ago, I made a joke Tinder account with friends, with a fake age, job, etc., but all the pictures were my own. Turns out, I really hit it off with a guy and he was still interested after I told him my real information. The thing is, he’s 23 and I’m 17. Is there any hope for a relationship? […]

Who are you not?

Posted on Apr 17, 2018 by Natalie Benway

Are you brave enough to examine your expectations of love and explore who you are actually bringing to the relationships in your life? Are you willing to be vulnerable? […]

Dear Kiki: My marriage is straight out of the ’50s

Posted on Mar 20, 2018 by Dear Kiki

I am getting tired, frustrated and increasingly disappointed by how little my husband does compared to how much I do to keep our household functioning. As much as I love the man (and I really do), the next time I come up the stairs (which really need to be swept) with a full basket of laundry to find him napping or playing video games, I’m going to fucking lose it. […]

Dear Kiki: Is she just not that into me?

Posted on Mar 20, 2018 by Dear Kiki

I met this girl and she’s amazing. I wasn’t sure if she was into me, but we slept together. Thing is, she has a lot of friends and suitors and I don’t know if I make the cut. I don’t have the money to take her out and I felt bad when she paid last time. Now I’m thinking I have lost her because the only time we communicate is when I text her and she seems like she’s being nice. […]

Picking up where ‘the talk’ left off

Posted on Mar 6, 2018 by Natalie Benway

Sexual curiosity is normal. What isnt normal, and what some have been socialized to believe, is that sexuality, even as children, is something to be secretive or ashamed of being curious about. […]

Dear Kiki: Am I too freaky?

Posted on Feb 20, 2018 by Dear Kiki

I had a terrible experience recently and I don’t know what to think. I had a second date with a guy. He invited me to his apartment and cooked me dinner. It was delish, and we were having a fun, playful evening. After eating and a couple glasses of wine, we started making out on the couch. […]

Let’s talk sex with Natalie Benway, sex therapist pursuing licensure

Posted on Feb 6, 2018 by Jordan Sellergren

Natalie Benway, a therapist at Seva Healing Center in Coralville, incorporates sex therapy into her practice and is currently pursuing licensure through the American Association of Sex Educators, joining only one other licensed practitioner in the state of Iowa. […]

Dear Kiki: I have to work next to my boyfriend’s crazy ex

Posted on Dec 5, 2017 by Dear Kiki

I am a woman in my later 20s who has been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He is my best friend; I couldn’t be happier with him! The issue does not lie with my boyfriend or our relationship, but with his ex-girlfriend.
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Dear Kiki: I’m getting the cold shoulder from the woman of my dreams

Posted on Nov 14, 2017 by Dear Kiki

I’m a little blown away by how emotionally and physically intimate we had been for it to suddenly turn so cordial/superficial, literally overnight, without any major incident (besides her move) to provoke the change. […]