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Dear Kiki: My ex still holds a piece of my heart

About a decade ago I fell very hard for someone, but circumstances kept us apart. We’ve both been able to move on and live our best lives and love the people we’re actually with since our really difficult split up. We haven’t spoken to or seen more than a glimpse of each other for years. But God, it’s still there in my heart. It’s always there. […]

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Let’s talk about multiple orgasms

“Don’t hold back. Give yourself permission to delve as deeply as possible into your biggest and strongest orgasm. Keep going beyond your threshold, beyond what you thought you were capable of.” —Annie Sprinkle There’s nothing like the giddy excitement of discussing good sex with a group of girlfriends. In a recent conversation, the topic of […]

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Dear Kiki: My boyfriend has been extremely protective since I was attacked

I am a very independent, beautiful lady of 23, a teacher with a wonderful boyfriend, “Bill.” We occasionally discuss marriage but my independence is important to me. Bill is understanding and supportive, and we are both young so there is no rush. I have my own home and am quite happy with my life. Things got complicated a couple of weeks ago. I came home from work at 3 p.m. and was accosted by two young men burglarizing my house. They were obviously waiting for me because they had brought cords, duct tape and demanded my bank cards. I was not in a position to run, they bound me, taped my mouth and left me face down on the kitchen floor tightly hogtied. […]

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Sex talk: What even the most vanilla among us can learn from the BDSM community

Americans carry a lot of anxiety about having an exciting sex life. This anxiety inspires Cosmopolitan, Redbook and the like to publish a steady stream of articles flouting “100 ways to spice up your sex life!” and “The top six ways to add more color to vanilla sex!” Shame about having “boring” sex is used to sell magazines as well as drive sales of sex toys, fluffy pink handcuffs and sexy nurse costumes, bought in half-hearted attempts to “spice things up.” […]

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Dear Kiki: I have feelings for a man more than twice my age

I am a female in my early twenties, and although I’m not interested in a serious, long-term relationship at this point in my life, I do enjoy dating and meeting new people. Up to this point, I’ve only dated men within my age range, but I often find myself attracted to men who are older. A while ago, I developed an intense crush on a (single and childless) man who is more than twice my age, and I’ve tried ignoring it, but it isn’t going away. […]

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Stop asking people when they are going to get married

“So, when are you going to get married?” Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or single, you’ve likely fielded this question. It’s a big question, sometimes softened with a playful nudge or wink, but can be less than fun to answer, and not just for the proverbial bachelor afraid of commitment. The underlying assumption is […]

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Dear Kiki: I’m having an affair with my daughter’s friend — and I’m not ashamed of it

Throughout witnessing a series of traumatic events happen to my daughter over the course of a very difficult year, I’ve developed strong attachment to and connection with an eighteen year old friend of hers. I’m thirty-five and in a relationship with the father of my younger children. This young man and I have been having an incredibly mutually amenable, emotional, creatively inspiring and sexual affair for the past few months and are both developing real feelings for one another. […]

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Dear Kiki: I recently left my abuser. Is it safe to use Tinder?

Questions about love and sex in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area can be sent to dearkiki@littlevillagemag.com (queries can also be sent anonymously using this form). Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online. Dear Kiki, I’d like to try dating again, specifically trying out Tinder. I recently […]

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