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Dear Kiki: My children call my current relationship ‘disgusting.’ Are they right?

About a month ago I developed a sexual relationship with my significant other’s son. My children have now disowned me calling the relationship disgusting, a poor decision, and inappropriate. The way I see it, other than the age gap of 25 years, we are both single, both adults, we are not related. Do you think my children are correct in their perception of this relationship and if so, for what reasons? […]

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Dear Kiki: Where can I find other BDSM enthusiasts in the Iowa City area?

“I’m a 65-year-old, semi-retired, BDSM-loving, cross-dressing, kinky, fetishy baby-boomer in decent condition. I’m not afraid to be beaten until I cry. I’m highly breast-envious. I’m just looking for someone to love and play with, but the women I’ve fallen for have never been into this stuff.” […]

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‘Not tonight, dear’: Reconciling discrepancies in desire

Glenn wants sex every day; Joe wants sex once a week. Heidi wants sex twice a week, while Robert wants it twice a month. Angela wants sex once a year, Paige wants to have sex — never? Perhaps you’re lucky enough to match with a person or persons with the same sexual appetite as you, but odds are your moods and cravings won’t always line up.
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Mortifying sex moments (and how to survive them)

One of the most common questions I hear in my practice is, “Is that normal?” More often than not, the answer is yes. I asked some fellow Iowans to divulge their most mortifying sexcapades, and boy, did they deliver. I’ve included some of these stories below, along with some tips and context. […]

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Dear Kiki: I feel betrayed by my husband, and I can’t let it go

A year ago, my husband engaged in frequent and very personal Whatsapp chats with a woman he met in a hobby group. They met first with some other friends in the group. After that, they worked on a project together. This project brought them closer to each other. My husband often spent hours chatting with her, even wee and […]

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The joy and pain of longing

Maybe it was the news of Luke Perry dying at 52, or this never-ending goddamn winter, but I’ve been overcome recently with a desire to do something drastic, frivolous, adventurous. I feel an urge to escape the discomfort of my body, the constant thinking, the routine, anything unpleasant and say, “Fuck it! I’m bustin’ out of these chains.” […]

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Dear Kiki: My ex still holds a piece of my heart

About a decade ago I fell very hard for someone, but circumstances kept us apart. We’ve both been able to move on and live our best lives and love the people we’re actually with since our really difficult split up. We haven’t spoken to or seen more than a glimpse of each other for years. But God, it’s still there in my heart. It’s always there. […]

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Let’s talk about multiple orgasms

“Don’t hold back. Give yourself permission to delve as deeply as possible into your biggest and strongest orgasm. Keep going beyond your threshold, beyond what you thought you were capable of.” —Annie Sprinkle There’s nothing like the giddy excitement of discussing good sex with a group of girlfriends. In a recent conversation, the topic of […]

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