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I’ve been dating a really wonderful girl for about three months. Things are going great, and we spend almost all our free time together. There’s just one problem — she has a really long toe hair. It’s just one hair on one toe, but it’s a really long hair. So long that it curls around a couple of times. There’s no other hair on her feet, and she shaves her legs, so she’s got to know it’s there. Her skin is really pale, and the hair is dark brown, so there’s no way to miss it when she’s barefoot. And the first thing she does when she gets home or enters my apartment is kick off her shoes. I can’t help sneaking looks at the hair, but I don’t think she’s noticed me checking it out. I find myself thinking more and more about the hair and why she doesn’t get rid of it. Should I ask her about the hair, or would that make me sound like jerk?
Uhhh, have you ever seen a naked mole rat?
But seriously, my best friend from childhood is one of the hairiest women I know. She knows she’s hairy, yet it hasn’t stopped the multitude of stares and comments she’s received over the years, especially because she has mostly lived her life not shaving or waxing or plucking or threading or etc.
Maybe you have a long ass hair — have you checked lately?
This article was originally published in Little Village issue 228.