Dear Kiki: How do I ask out the cute guy in my class?

Questions about love and sex in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area can be sent to (queries can also be sent anonymously using this form). Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online.

Dear Kiki

Dear Kiki,

I’m in grad school at UIowa. In one of my classes, there is a really cute, quirky, smart guy. He’s young and I don’t know if he’s gay or not. I’m horrible at this kind of thing, but I want to ask him on a date. What should I do?

Dear Unsure,

Well, well, well — guess where I met my (ex)husband? At the University of Iowa, but I almost didn’t get the nerve to make my move. As the semester went by, I longingly watched this beautiful young man with the bluest eyes in the world while he took notes in a large lecture hall. I tried to be nonchalantly noticed, but as it got closer to the end of the term, my roommates begged me to introduce myself or be banned from obsessing over him any longer. The perfect moment happened, we became a couple instantly, dated five years, were married for 13 and have two lovely kids. Although we divorced, we remain friends. Had I never said, “Hi,” while walking by him, I probably would’ve ended up marrying my high school boyfriend and ruining my life. Anyway, enough about me!

In your situation, sleuthing out whether or not he’s gay shouldn’t be too hard. Sit near enough and listen and watch. As an amateur and assuredly a non-threatening stalker myself, you could pick up on conversations he might be having and possibly have your own with him. Being a graduate student, you must be a smart guy yourself, and I’m going to assume a delightful personality. So summon the courage to chat with your young classmate. Go forth and be coy and curious. Once you know if he’s playing on your team, and the pitch is good: Swing, batter, batter; swing!

— xoxo, Kiki

This article was originally published in Little Village issue 229.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


A collaboration between The Englert Theatre and FilmScene


Help us build the greatest small city for the arts in America—right here in Iowa City. Learn more »

Donate Today

Strengthen • Grow • Evolve is a collaborative campaign led by two Iowa City-based arts nonprofits, The Englert Theatre and FilmScene that seeks a major reinvestment to strengthen the arts through modern and historic venues, innovative programming, and new models of collaboration.

For 18 years...

Little Village has been telling the truth and changing our little corner of the world.

If you can, help us head into the next 18 years even stronger with a one-time or monthly contribution of $18, or any amount you choose.


Wed, Oct. 23, 2019

Hilton Garden Inn Iowa City Downtown University at 7:15 a.m. (program starts at 7:30 a.m.)

Keynote address by Dr. Melissa Shivers
Vice President for Student Life
University of Iowa

Buy Ticketes

(No tickets sold at the door)

2019 Award Honorees

Jesse Case
Elizabeth Bernal
Angie Jordan (South District Neighborhood Association)
Inside Out Reentry
Matthew Farrey
Kevin Sanders


VOTER’S GUIDE for the 2019 Johnson County Elections

Mark your calendar! Local elections for City Council and School Board on November 5, 2019. Polls are open 6 a.m. to 8 p.m.