Hey girl. I enjoy sex and I am horny a lot, but I always struggle with staying in the mood during sex or even getting aroused enough that it feels somewhat good. Hook-ups terrify me, and in all of the relationships that I have been in, my partner always dumps me after we get to […]
Dear Kiki
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: We broke up because she was moving to Des Moines. Now I’m here, too, and we’re not sure what to do
I don’t know what to do. Me (25M) and my gf (24F) broke up two months ago because she was moving back to Des Moines to be with her family. We were both living in Pennsylvania at the time and we both graduated college last year and that phase of our lives was coming to […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’ve always struggled to form relationships. Am I doomed?
I’ve always been interested in having relationships with others but due to a myriad of mental health struggles (autism, severe depression and anxiety, among other things) I’ve never really “understood” how to connect with others or simply even put myself out there (other people are terrifying!). It’s a struggle to figure out what others are […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I might be too reliant on fantasizing during sex
I might be too reliant on fantasizing during sex. When I’m engaged in these super hot private erotic narratives, separate from the connection I have with my partner, I know I’m not being fully present with them. Plus it just feels like a crutch since fantasizing is what helps get me there most reliably. Naturally […]
Posted inCommunity/News
Dear Kiki: I’m interested in the interstitium
First time inquirer with you here. I’ve been fascinated by how our interstitium connects and informs stimuli to erogenous zones; further, how those intersect with meridians discovered by the ancients, further yet, how that process interfaces with brain chemistry and so forth. I know there’s more to it from a connectivity standpoint, but I thought […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: How can I ever trust them again?
Do you have any practical (or spiritual) suggestions for rebuilding trust after it has been violated, while also granting space for privacy and autonomy? Life feels much too fragile to spend it suspicious of someone you love. —Wary but Willing Dear Wary but Willing, I’m so sorry you’re in this position. Violations of trust can […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Too many of my conversations come back to haunt me
It is difficult for me to keep grievances about people who hurt me to myself, and it seems unavoidable that one of these conversations will come back to haunt me. What begins with feeling slighted becomes vilification of others and character assassination, which I often express liberally with confidants and less trusted acquaintances alike. My […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Why does getting in the mood feel like work?
I have always had a lower sex drive than my partner, and I know that can be natural in a relationship, but recently it has felt like a problem. It frequently feels like I have some kind of block. Either because I’m stressed, or tired, or my stomach hurts, or I am just not really in the mood.
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: My partner never wants to get married. I do.
My partner doesn’t want to get married (like at all, ever, in general), but I like the idea of it. It’s not a dealbreaker for me, but it does make me a little sad to think of not marrying the love of my life. What should I do for closure? Like, is there a way […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Will noticing our nocturnal activities scar the baby?
My partner and I have a 5-month-old who sleeps in a bassinet in the same room as us. We are wondering: When does inadvertently witnessing spontaneous late-night activity potentially scar the kiddo? It’s nothing wild, obvs; we save that for when the baby has naptime in the nursery. —Impromptu Canoodler For a technical answer to […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: When should I tell them I’m asexual?
Dear Kiki, As an asexual person, is there a certain time and place to bring up my sexuality when dating that won’t deter people but will let them know I am someone who takes things very slow in all aspects of the word? —Proceeding with Caution Dear Proceeding with Caution, The slow and steady approach […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: My partner and I are demoting each other
My partner is my best friend. We are ethically nonmonogamous and are going to start scaling back our relationship to make ways for different primary partners. Any advice about how to handle this or bumps in the road to expect? —Meticulously Unweaving Congratulations! This is such a gift that you and your friend are giving […]
