Dear Kiki

My boyfriend is wonderful and feminist and sex positive, but he has issues with me being bisexual. It’s not that he’s openly raged at me or anything. It’s just that whenever it happens to come up, you can see the micro-flicker of discomfort on his face that he’s trying to suppress. I know it’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable at the idea of your partner having a past, but he feels especially threatened by the idea of me checking out a girl over a guy (when I actually don’t check out anyone; I’m too in love with him to really notice anyone else in that way). […]

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My wife and I have regularly engaged in BDSM throughout our relationship. I’m mostly dominant, but we switch on very rare occasion, and it’s something I’d like to explore more. However, I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression this year and have self-harmed several times. Is engaging in sex that could involve degrees of pain and humiliation a particularly bad idea considering my current mental health, even if we’re both enthusiastic about it? […]

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Can you recommend some let’s-get-it-on music that’s not “Let’s Get It On”? In other words, how would you set the scene without being heavy-handed and melodramatic? I’m open to all genres of music, but not a huge fan of sappy romantic tunes. […]

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A few days ago, I made a joke Tinder account with friends, with a fake age, job, etc., but all the pictures were my own. Turns out, I really hit it off with a guy and he was still interested after I told him my real information. The thing is, he’s 23 and I’m 17. Is there any hope for a relationship? […]

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I met this girl and she’s amazing. I wasn’t sure if she was into me, but we slept together. Thing is, she has a lot of friends and suitors and I don’t know if I make the cut. I don’t have the money to take her out and I felt bad when she paid last time. Now I’m thinking I have lost her because the only time we communicate is when I text her and she seems like she’s being nice. […]

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I had a terrible experience recently and I don’t know what to think. I had a second date with a guy. He invited me to his apartment and cooked me dinner. It was delish, and we were having a fun, playful evening. After eating and a couple glasses of wine, we started making out on the couch. […]

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I am a woman in my later 20s who has been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He is my best friend; I couldn’t be happier with him! The issue does not lie with my boyfriend or our relationship, but with his ex-girlfriend.
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I’m a little blown away by how emotionally and physically intimate we had been for it to suddenly turn so cordial/superficial, literally overnight, without any major incident (besides her move) to provoke the change. […]

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We have a thin-walled apartment, and while I try to be a considerate neighbor, she just lets it rip every time we get busy. The neighbors are starting to retaliate with drums and the Ramones, and we got our window egged one night. […]

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I trusted him to retrieve ~200 US dollars owed to me by my former landlord as well as two suitcases to hold onto until I could come back and get them. He was happy to do this. Here’s the problem: I fly back to his country tomorrow and for the past more than two weeks, he has been virtually and mysteriously unresponsive.
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My roommate has a sugar daddy. When she first got started, she explained to me that she had an intimate relationship with an older man that also happened to buy her things and occasionally helped her pay her bills. At first, I was completely supportive, and even considered becoming a sugar baby as well. But then she started becoming obsessed. […]

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