It certainly took bloody long enough, but Sen. Ted “100% Americanlike” Cruz (R-Poutine) is finally taking action to formally renounce his Canadian citizenship, which…
Wonkette
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Wire: California lady has cheerful Christmas answer to neighbors who whined about her rainbow flag
Here’s some industrial-strength Nice Time, courtesy of our old friend Evan Hurst (Wonkette misses you, Evan!) at TruthWinsOut: That photo up there is…
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Wire: Top secret FBI interrogation manual somehow ended up in Library Of Congress
Our oopsie of the day comes to us courtesy of Nick Baumann at Mother Jones, who brings us this story of an FBI agent who thought it would be a good idea to submit…
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‘National Report’ writes fake war-on-Christmas story, hilarious real threats phoned in to real school
Our satirical pals at the National Report, whose idea of satire is to write up fake news stories that contain few hints as to their fakeness — because satire does…
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Wire: Daily Caller GOTCHAS John Boehner with tanning lobbyist landlord story from 2006
So now it’s come to this: John Boehner lives in a DC apartment that he’s renting from a lobbyist for the tanning bed industry. This raises a number of questions…
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Wire: Mike Huckabee to save internet with Huckabee Post
Hey, remember that fat white guy who lost weight and now wants to put the ‘white’ back in White House? No, not the one what closes bridges because of petty political bickering — the other GOP white guy, the one who rocks out on gee-tar. Yeah, Mike Huckabee. He is back in the news because the news […]
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Wire: Scammy EPA climate science guy was basically George Costanza
So if you’re really determined to slack off at your job, here’s a lesson from the EPA’s highest-paid employee: No sense just spending the occasional afternoon…
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Wire: North Carolina State Senator hits Nazi-USSR-terrorist trifecta of Obamacare hyperbole
We’re actually a little sympathetic to North Carolina state Sen. Bob Rucho, who twattered this over the weekend. Metaphors are hard, and sometimes when…
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Wire: Kid gives his piggy bank to NASA, gets call from real space man for reals
We always feel a little guilty when we dress up a “not as horrible as it coulda been” story as a Nice Time story, and this has been a week where too many…
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Wire: Bryan Fischer Has Magic Constitution That Says First Amendment Is Only For Christians
You may have read about the performance-art “Satanists” who have offered to build a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma Statehouse; under the law’s…
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Wire: Wisconsin declares war on cuddling
In a blow to freedom and weirdass trendiness, the Snuggle House, an innovative business in Madison, Wisconsin, where for $60 an hour you could get all therapeutically cuddled with a “professional snuggler,” has closed. The innocent cuddle-hos of the twee “touch therapy” business were driven out of business by city officials who thought that all this paid pajama-panky was […]
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CNN Confused: How could Nelson Mandela influence Barack Obama if they only met one time?
So at Friday’s daily briefing at the White House, everybody had a question about Nelson Mandela’s death and the funeral and why didn’t Barack…
