Dear Kiki, I’m new in town… how can I meet a sexy guy over 50 to hang out with?! Iowan00b Dear Iowan00b, Welcome! I hope you’re settling in well to your new digs. Moving can be tough on a variety of levels, so I’m pleased you’ve decided to reach out for assistance on this aspect […]
Love advice
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Should I warn my ex’s current partner that she’s cheating?
Dear Kiki, A few weeks ago I found out through Instagram reels of all things and confirmed through a friend that my now ex-girlfriend cheated on her current partner with me. Should I go through the effort of getting the partner’s contact information to tell them or sit this one out? Kiss and Tell Dear […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: Is a coffee date low effort?
Dear Kiki, I had a friend repost a story of someone saying that getting a coffee as a first date is low effort. That it is lazy for a person to choose a java hang as the icebreaker. I disagree. It’s affordable and allows you to converse to actually get to know someone. Plus I […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I don’t jive with casual intimacy — but I don’t want to be a prude (or alone)
Dear Kiki, Where do I begin? I do not jive with casual intimacy… and I feel like a prude for it. As a young woman I thought if I could have sex like my peers it would be fun and I would feel empowered. While the temporary connections satisfied me in the moment, time and […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’m a boring monogamist. Does that make me less queer?
Dear Kiki, Polyamory has taken the lesbian and queer community by storm. Every person I talk to wants me to read The Ethical Slut or Polysecure and be on board with their primary partner, but after experimenting with it I think I’m just monogamous. Am I less enlightened? Less queer? How do I say I’m […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I’m finally focusing on my own needs, but it may be hurting my relationships
Dear Kiki, I’m having a hard time prioritizing others at this stage in my life and I’m not sure whether it’s OK to keep centralizing my own needs, or if I’m being unreasonable by doing just that. By default, I no longer make future plans outside regular obligations such as work and home. When friends […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: How do you seduce men over 60 years old?
Submit your question to Kiki, LV’s sex and relationship advice columnist. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online. Dear Kiki, How do you seduce men over 60 years old? Recliner Robber Dear RR, You’ve got me on the ropes, here! So much potential for “any damn way […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: When Meat Loaf said he won’t do ‘that,’ what was he referring to?
Submit your question to Kiki, LV’s sex and relationship advice columnist. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online. Flashback sequence! Recently, Kiki answered audience questions at Little Village’s inaugural Roast of Des Moines. The rapid-fire Q&A was a blast, but there was one question that deserved further […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: How do I tell my loved ones I’m just not interested in sex and romance?
Submit your question to Kiki, LV’s sex and relationship advice columnist. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online. Dear Kiki, Help! I don’t know how to tell my family (and friends) I’m AroAce (asexual-aromantic). I’ve been attempting to drop hints and politely refusing their advice, but to […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I know it’s superficial, but I wish she had better style
Submit your question to Kiki, LV’s sex and relationship advice columnist. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online. Dear Kiki, I’m attracted to a woman, but I’m not sure she has very good style and that does affect the way I feel about her. I want to […]
Posted inCommunity/News
How to use a pencil to unlock more pleasure
I had a surprisingly sensual and pleasurable experience with a pencil once. I’ve worked with somatic sex educators for a number of years as a way to reclaim a more embodied and empowered relationship to pleasure. Reading Audre Lorde’s work in college helped me understand that the erotic isn’t just the stuff people do to […]
Posted inDear Kiki
Dear Kiki: I discovered a new sexual interest, but there’s a logistical issue
Submit your question to Kiki, LV’s sex and relationship advice columnist. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online. Dear Kiki, I’ve recently discovered I have an interest in cumplay, but here’s the problem: I’m a cis guy in a committed monogamous relationship with a cis woman, and […]
