Now, look, Ted Cruz, just because the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) wrote model “stand your ground” legislation that got adopted by a whole…
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Wire: Hero Christmas defenders besiege school after FOX runs fake ‘War on Christmas’ story
OMG you guys, did you hear about the school in Georgia that’s so bent on removing any trace of Christianity that it forced kids and teachers to take down the…
Wire: Sure, Barack, your dream job is to host ‘SportsCenter,’ you regular guy, you
Oh, golly Barack, we get it, underneath all the policy wonkiness and stiffness and discomfort, you are just a regular guy, aren’t you? Which is why you’re always…
Wire: Wall Street is your new landlord, please pay your rent or the economy will crash again, thanks!
How’s that vein in your forehead? Poppin’ fresh? No? You’re happy?! Well that won’t do at all! Here, read this story about how Wall Street firms are furiously buying up…
Wire: Noted cultural critic Allen West reviews Macklemore’s AMA acceptance speech
Did you watch the American Music Awards, America? Did you sink into a pit of existential gloom about the whole thing? Will you be more or less gloomy…
Wire: Odd man on horse yells about impeaching Obama
http://youtu.be/Ljcc-ymvHog From the tipline, here is a gentleman doing a bit of 300 cosplay whilst muttering something about the need to impeach Obama. He is “Leonidas, from the past,” and he explains […]
Fox’s John Stossel: Jesus wants you to stop giving money to all these fake homeless people
It is almost practically the holiday season, a time of year when some of us are grateful for all the bounty we have been given, like living in the US instead…
Wire: Terrible Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin to gay soldiers: Fine. now nobody gets spousal benefits
So you already knew about the kerfuffle over the Defense Department’s fascist oppressive decree that, Yes, the National Guard actually is part of the…
Wire: Hey Ladies! Scary old Rupert Murdoch is about to be single again
The terms of News Corp’s CEO, chairman, and destroyer of all things good in media Rupert Murdoch’s divorce from his pie-jacking, badass, third wife Wendi Deng…
Wire: Only 1085 days left until the next presidential election, let’s all go die
OhEmmGee, you guys! Remember how a year ago we were all Hopey and Changey Part II and still drunkenly reveling in the streets because Blablack…
Wire: Oh, remember when Congress hit that all time approval rating low? yeah, guess what
You know what is even less popular than interracial marriage? Congress, what because of how they suck times a million. But America continues to hold them in…
Wire: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford will tear off your head and do a poop down your neck, for drug money probably
Would you believe that Rob Ford is still the Mayor of Toronto? Of course you would, because the man does not know the meaning of “give up.” Literally. He is so…