Sex talk: What even the most vanilla among us can learn from the BDSM community

Americans carry a lot of anxiety about having an exciting sex life. This anxiety inspires Cosmopolitan, Redbook and the like to publish a steady stream of articles flouting “100 ways to spice up your sex life!” and “The top six ways to add more color to vanilla sex!” Shame about having “boring” sex is used to sell magazines as well as drive sales of sex toys, fluffy pink handcuffs and sexy nurse costumes, bought in half-hearted attempts to “spice things up.” […]

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Under the bisexual umbrella

I recently had a coffee date with my friend Alison, with whom I share an interest (or should I say obsession) in talking about all things sex and sexuality. Alison, a University of Iowa lecturer, told me about several questions she poses to her human sexuality classes.After her students list qualities or characteristics they look for in an ideal partner, she asks how many have had the experience of being really attracted to someone until they got to know them. This is almost a universal experience. She […]

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Feminist porn is for everyone

Tired of all the faked orgasms, bleached buttholes and forced blow jobs of mainstream porn? Maybe you can’t get enough, but feel guilty supporting creators with dubious ethics. Are you female, male or nonbinary? Then feminist pornography is for you! Our reasons for searching out porn are varied: We might watch it to get off, […]

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