It’s the month of Love, and a time for all of us to join together for some sweet, sweet lovemaking. You could go with the standard apparatus you’ve got down there, or up there, or really anywhere, but if you’re feeling like going beyond the norm, there’s always the local porn shop.
Of course, in 2022, you have the option of online shopping, and at first blush it seems like the perfect choice. It’s hard enough to make eye contact picking up condoms at the grocery store; how much worse is it to have to slap down a fake penis on the counter? On the other hand, when you buy a shirt online with a weird fit, it just makes you look frumpy. An ill fit for your delicates can have more… challenging consequences.
For those of us not gifted with spatial reasoning or a sense of scale, it can be helpful to go someplace where you can actually see what you’re getting into (or what’s getting into you). After perusing the selection of adult stores in the area, we’ve come up with the authoritative list — complete with letter grades — of the stores to shop in Cedar Rapids, Iowa City and the Quad Cities.
Adult Shop South
630 66th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids
Nestled in the factory district of Cedar Rapids, Adult Shop South is a nondescript building that’s easy to miss on your first drive-through. On walking in, you’ll be greeted by a comfortably wide variety of adult toys, with some basic bondage kits, a cross-section of BDSM kits, and a selection of porn that fits most categories. B+.
Adult Shop North
5539 Crane Ln NE, Cedar Rapids
If you’re in the Hiawatha neighborhood, stop by Adult Shop North for a similar experience to its sibling in the South. It’s a good ol’ neighborhood shop with the stuff that’ll do you right. B+.
315 Kirkwood Ave Iowa City
This is the only true adult shop within the bounds of Iowa City, and it fits the sex-positive Iowa City vibe well. With a wide selection for every possible genital configuration, friendly but not pushy staff and one of the broader ranges of equipment on this list, Romantix is a safe bet for a reliable, comfortable experience, no matter what you’re into. A.
1451 Coral Ridge Ave, Coralville
320 W Kimberly Rd Space F-62, Davenport
It may not be a locally owned shop, but Spencer’s does carry sex toys, and there are ones in both Coralville and Davenport. With a very basic selection of lingerie, dildos, vibrators and butt plugs, this is the place to go if you want a sex toy, a bong-themed novelty mug and a Rick and Morty T-shirt, all from one store. If you’re a more advanced user, however, you will probably want to go elsewhere. D+.
Venus Adult Video
902 W 3rd St, Davenport
Located in the downtown area of Davenport, Venus Adult Video is on the smaller side and a bit dark. True to the name, this store offers a wide variety of adult videos but is a bit lacking when it comes to toys and lingerie. While you’re there, keep an eye out for the two cats we saw — it’s certainly not the only adult store you’ll see some pussy, but very few of those stores allow you to pet them. C, with a + for the cats.
3727 Hickory Grove Rd, Davenport
The largest store on this list, T.R. Video has a broad selection of toys ranging from simple butt plugs and vibrators to the largest dildo so far, clocking in at 17 inches. With friendly staff, a large, open layout with bright lighting and clear organization, the only downside of T.R. Video is that it’s the most isolated of all these options, located in a field with only a mobile home park nearby. If you’re easily spooked, this may be a miss. On the plus side, privacy! B-.
Did we miss any? Got a counter-opinion? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This article was originally published in Little Village issue 303.