We know some of you beloved Terrible Ones have a huge raging throbbing hate-on for Newark mayor and New Jersey’s next senator, Cory Booker. You are all like waaaaah, banks! We get it. (Actually, we don’t really get it. But we guess the 27-year-old us who voted for Nader kind of gets it? Nope, still not getting it.)
Well, perhaps you remember when we brought you news that Booker’s opponent, Steve Lonegan, went and unjustly fired one of his aides just for being totally normal and straight, unlike Cory Booker, and explaining that normal straight dudes, when they see a nice rack of lamb, offer to suck on those tittays real good, because that is how you get a girl to put your weenis in her mouth. It is just Science Fact.
But how did Mr. Cory Booker respond? Did he just keep laughing off Lonegan aide Rick Shaftan’s accusations of Teh Gheigh? Or was he all like, listen you sick sumbitch, or however black people say sumbitch, something something that showed he was really mad? Well, put away your Dukakis ’88 bumper stickers, because Cory Booker did get mad! He’s had all he can stands and he can’t stands no more!
First, let’s refresh ourselves on Rick Shaftan’s Charm School For Dudes What Want To Make It With Night-Ladies:
“It was just weird. I mean, to me, you know, hey, if he said, ‘Hey, you got really hot breasts man, I’d love to suck on them.’ Then like, yeah, cool. But like, he didn’t say that,” Shaftan explained. “It was like kind of like, I don’t know, it was like what a gay guy would say to a stripper. It’s the way he was talking to her. It’s just like like there was no sexual interest at all. I don’t know. To me, if I was single and you know like some stripper was tweeting me, I might take advantage of the perks of the office, you know?”
Oh, we know, Rick Shaftan. We know.
Now that we are all up to date, take it away, TPM. How did Cory Booker respond?
“You pray for those who seek you harm and ill and I sincerely do. And I sincerely pray that both he and I grow in our capacity to empathize and love. We all need to do that and he and I are no exception to that,” Booker said.
“Just imagine being an 18-year-old woman reading that, an 18-year-old high school senior reading that. … When he talked about what it means to be a man. Imagine being a kid being bullied in high school by people who are beating him up saying the same thing. And so, I learned a lot that words have a very powerful effect, especially (from) people who are in positions of authority,” explained Booker. “So, I think those words were hurtful, and demeaning, and deeply unfortunate, but a reflection of a narrow group of thoughts about our society that I hope we as a chorus of conviction and consciousness in our community can condemn. But I condemn them in a way where — I honestly and sincerely say this on a day that I’m more emotionally raw — I just pray for him and I pray for all of us. May we all elevate in our love.”
So, yup. Totally gay.
By Rebecca Schoenkopf