A Sales Pitch for Lightning Bolt @ Gabe's

There is already a show preview for the Lightning Bolt show (which will be in full swing 24 hours from the time of this posting). Rather than doing something boring like just rehashing the information from the preview, I am going to take it to the next level. The real reason that I am doing this is because watching videos of Lightning Bolt is bullshit and a misrepresentation of their style.

Videos and records do not really do justice to the strength of this band. The act of listening to Lightning Bolt is awesome, but it’s only effective if you can turn it up to the point where it, literally, hurts. I don’t listen to them in my apartment because I cannot play them at a sufficient enough volume without pissing off my neighbor or neighborhood. I have to listen to them on the highway where I can turn my radio up as loud as I can stand it (which is pretty high) and avoid crashing.

The reason for this is because Lightning Bolt is a visceral band. They will not impress you with their technical skills–maybe, Chippendale’s drumming will make you question why you’re not a robot–but they will lay into your body like a hot knife through butter. Your mind will melt. Your neck will hurt. Your shoes will be scuffed. You will, most likely, never see another performance like it…unless you go see Lightning Bolt somewhere else in the world.

If you are into cerebral rock and roll, stay home. If you don’t like getting covered in sweat and beer, stay home. This show is all about physicality, power, and taking rock and roll back to what it’s supposed to be: heavy riffs, fast drumming, and bonding with a few hundred of your closest friends.I can’t stress that bonding part enough because Lightning Bolt usually plays on the floor of venues, not on the stage like in the video posted in the preview. So, expect to be pushed, prodded, and pulled during the show. There is no space for the weak in the crowd, so be prepared to stand your ground. Decorum will always be displayed. Mercy may not.

This spirit will only be added to by the three supporting acts from around town. Living Ghost is Dan Davis’s (Be Kind To Your Neighbor) solo project. Really heavy, inventive work coming out of him. I’m excited to see him. The Tanks. We all know them. You’ve seem them at the Mill, the Pony Mansion, somewhere around Iowa City. You know they bring nothing but pure fury. I can only hope the lead singer wears a karate outfit again like the last time I saw them. Supersonic Piss rounds out the local bands. 4 punks with loud riffs and booze flowing out of their veins. No, seriously. I’ve seen them all over this town, and they always guarantee excitement. I’ve, literally, never not been entertained watching them.

If this didn’t sell you on this show, I don’t know what will. To those coming, I’ll see y’all in the pit tomorrow with my hair tied up and my sweatband on. I’m not trying to get my dreads ripped out by anyone. If you’re not coming, oh well. Don’t say I didn’t try.

Oh, super mega hyper important last point: DON’T FORGET YOUR EARPLUGS!!!!!!!!

The drummer does not wear gun range headphones because he likes the aesthetic (although I can’t be sure about that); he gave himself tinnitus (much like Roger Miller from Mission of Burma) from the volume of his own shows. You can buy earplugs from any drug store in America because fools like to party in hotel rooms or yell at each other when you go home. I bought some a while ago from the Walgreen’s on Muscatine for 2.50 and I got 7 pairs and a plastic carrying case, which I still use. Save yourself from 3 days of ringing in your ears and wear earplugs. Being deaf is eternally uncool. Period.