Wire: Michele Bachman wants to spank Obama, grab his magic wand

Minnesota performance artist Michele Bachmann sat down with WND to explain how Congress needs to “spank the President” and take away his “magic wand” before he grants voting rights to illegal aliens. Again.

Buried lede: the double entrendres aren’t even the craziest part of this story! No, the main thing is that Michele Bachmann says that immigration reform must be stopped so that Barack Obama cannot repeat an action that appears to have occurred solely in the mind of Michele Bachmann:

I think the president, even by executive order, can again wave his magic wand before 2014 and he’d say now all of the new, legal Americans are going to have voting rights.’

Why do I say that? He did it in 2012. Do you remember? Anyone who was here as a Latina under age 30, he said, ‘You get to vote.’

Do we even have to say “No he can’t” and “No we don’t remember that, because he didn’t, because it is UNPOSSIBLE”? Not that we think it would make any difference if we did.

As Steve Benen at the Maddow Blog points out, the video manages to cram all manner of nonsense into fewer than two minutes. The President of the United States cannot actually declare that entire classes of people are eligible to vote, and whatever she thinks happened in 2012, there was no granting of the vote to non-citizen “Latinas under 30.” Maybe she’s thinking of the administrative decision not to deport people eligible for the Dream Act? But … why would she think it was only applicable to Latinas? Wouldn’t the power-mad Obama magically give free votes to the boy latins, too? Or does Michele think “Latina” covers both?

We remember that time last week when we had that one weird dream where we were writing a blog post about our laundry basket, but Michele, we actually abandoned it when we woke up (even though it made the front page of Reddit, where everyone just bitched about the headline).

Bachmann goes on to speculate that if immigration reform is passed, and the President waves his magic wand again, then all the illegals will vote Democrat and it will be illegal for Republicans to ever have the majority again, so it’s time to spank Obama for Jesus and take away his magic wand. Congress can stop this nefarious plot, somehow, by refusing to fund something, though what, exactly, we do not know — cut the appropriation for the Ministry of Magic?

As Benen remind us, Michele Bachmann has “a seat on the House Intelligence Committee, where she has access to some of the nation’s most sensitive national security information.”

Be afraid. Be Very Afraid.

by Doktor Zoom

[Maddow Blog / Right Wing Watch]