Sex Advice

I have been reading your column for years, Dan, and now I’m writing you for the first time to ask for a favor. I met this dude online in December and I felt like we had a good connection. He “dumped” me, though, because he was busy and was going through career shit and lived […]

My father is 65 years old and has been a devoted husband to my mother who has been battling a medical condition for the past 30 years—a condition that prevents her from engaging in sexual activity of any kind. He has not had sex in all this time and is desperately frustrated. He’s not internet […]

My 15-year-old son has been watching sadistic porn—and ONLY sadistic porn—for a couple of years. He also tells us (husband and me) that, though he’s not had sex (which he defines as penetration), he’s had oral sex, handjobs, etc., and that he didn’t “flash on” violent images at those times. But he says he thinks about this type of porn all the time—all day, every day—and fantasizes about doing sadistic things to the girls he dates. This all came out as we started having conversations about respect and dating! I proceeded to freak the hell out (though not around him). As the mom and as a woman, I’m upset. I want information, but it makes me sick to read about sexual violence. Particularly when I know there’s an unwilling partner involved, as my son hints he prefers—gang rapes are an example.

I’m a straight 18-year-old girl in my first sexual relationship. Things are a little awkward, and I could chalk it up to inexperience, but here’s what I feel conflicted about: I have a vore fetish. It was a fascination for me as a young child and became a sexual thing around the time I hit […]

My fiancée is extremely bothered by me looking at porn. It revolves around insecurities that have gotten so bad that even other girls bother her. (We can hardly go to a beach anymore.) I don’t have any weird relationship with porn—no addiction, no violent stuff, and I look pretty infrequently. She acknowledges that it’s a […]

I have been wearing bras and panties with stockings for so long now, it’s become a part of me, and I was wondering if you have heard of this before. — Sent From Samsung Mobile People wearing bras and panties and stockings—that is something I’ve heard of before. A quick programming note: Some weeks, half […]

We just did a live taping of the Savage Lovecast at Seattle’s Neptune Theatre. Audience members submitted more questions — anonymously, on index cards — than we could possibly answer during the Q&A segment of the show. So I’m answering some of the questions we didn’t get to in this week’s column.

I have been insecure about the way my vagina looks for as long as I can remember. When I was young, I would fantasize about the day I would grow pubic hair long enough to cover its unsightliness. That day never came, and I was left with an enormous insecurity about it. My labia minora […]

I am a 30-year-old trans guy, on T since college, happy and comfortable with my sexuality. However, I can’t find any helpful health info on a fetish I’ve developed: I insert needles directly into my clit, maybe an inch and a half in. I’m not talking through it, like a piercing, but into it, going […]

Is this even Dan? Probably not, probably an assistant, but maybe this will eventually get to him. I have a spanking fetish. I love to be spanked. I live in Oakland, California, so San Francisco is 10 minutes away. Seems like I’m in one of the best places in the country to have a kink, […]

I’m a twentysomething married trans guy in an openish marriage. In the online hunt for a guy to have some aboveboard, under-the-sheets fun with, I run into snags because I’m trans (I disclose on my profile) and because I’m married. I’m baby-stepping my way toward an offline search for guys, going to events hosted by […]

Four years ago, I met a man on a “married but looking” website. We exchanged fantasies, which included wanting to have threesomes and a D/s relationship. He was 19 years my senior. I was 42 at the time. For three years, we met twice a week for drinks or sex. The sex was amazing. We […]