Catch up on episodes one, two, three, four, five and six.
Girl, this is not RuPaul’s best friends race.
I can’t believe it’s already the top four but here we are, and what a challenge for it. I feel like everyone knows that The Roast is harrowing. You’re supposed to be funny and read, but not too hard as to hurt anyone’s feelings, but you can’t be too nice as to be boring or, God forbid, unfunny. It’s a fine line.
When Kimmy introduced the night she admitted that she volunteered for the position of roastee, “‘cuz the rest of y’all are bitches.” She wore what is now my favorite of all her looks this season — a zebra print bodysuit with a head wrap that forms two arcing horns, gold jewelry hanging from her neck and waistline. On top is an oversized floor-length fur coat, a patchwork of various patterns and colors, grounded by the black leather of her gloves and boots.
“If there’s a funny joke, laugh, if there’s not, don’t — it helps me with my judging,” she said, sipping a comically long straw sticking out of a shooter-sized wine bottle.
The challenge: The roast of Lil’ Kimmy Blaque
Ruth was first to the stage and came in hot. She took big swings at both Myling Belle (who was supposed to be a guest judge in several episodes but has, rather curiously, flaked every time, including tonight) and Myla (who was not present “of her own volition” or so sayeth the roast).
“Beep Beep: you don’t know shit, your makeup sucks, your outfits — oh, sorry, this is Virgo’s card.” She gently handed Virgo the card with a smile and Beep Beep laughed, which was rare. Ruth had great timing, great jokes and momentum. When she said, “Lil Kimmy Blaque is such a fat slut she uses a blooming onion as a rose toy,” Kimmy doubles over in her stool looking like a laughing (zebra-printed) devil.
Frisbee shuffled notecards at the podium (a high top dragged over from the bar). She began with something I didn’t expect: by addressing the “walk out” from week one that left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
“Myla called me a bully week one and maybe I was drunk and maybe I went off, but Barbara was the real bully! She bullied me with that long-ass speech!”
I found myself chuckling in my seat. It was such a clever and smart way to get the people laughing, address that weird moment and get the crowd on her side. At least it worked on me. Frisbee brought a lot of what we’ll call “deep tea” to the set. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here in Star Search, but now I think I know about 15 percent or less. Maybe Little Village should have got an investigative journalist instead of a nosy queer.
Frisbee looked at Erotica and asked, “Permission to read?”
Erotica crossed her legs. “Go right ahead.”
“You know Erotica actually threatened Sonny with eviction if he sent her home. They’re roommates, it’s true.” She looked to the crowd and nodded, assuring them. “And I heard she actually threatened Virgo with the same thing … She even might’ve threatened me but — I don’t rent.” Good bit, subtle brag, and a graceful reveal of tea I did NOT know. That seemed to be a theme in Frisbee’s set.
“Sonny quit the game. They don’t know this, but it’s true. And when he did, Virgo said, ‘Good, I need help with rhinestoning!’”
Quit the game?! I tried to get eyes on Sonny in the crowd but couldn’t find him.
Erotica walked to the podium, and here is where the night took a turn. Erotica is a naturally funny person, but has a history of not doing extremely well in comedy challenges. Unfortunately, this pattern continued. Erotica had some good jokes but the delivery was mild at best. It wasn’t easy to tell if she was feeling nervous or getting lost in her cards. The timing, which was the strongest part of Ruth and Frisbee’s sets, was the weakest in Erotica’s. Beep Beep held up some printer paper with the words “BOO” or “Terrible” or “Not Funny” written in plain Sharpie. It was tough.
Virgo had a similar story. The jokes she had that were funny were really funny, but the ones that weren’t really bombed. Putting herself last in the lineup didn’t exactly set her up for success. She got more of Beep Beep’s rather pathetic (and sadly true) paper signs, and this gave the rest of the crowd and contestants credence to start heckling. Ruth would start shouting some quips from behind her that Kimmy laughed at more than Virgo’s jokes.
Kimmy hopped back on the mic to close the show, sauntering around the stage. “Wow, you guys are so mean to me. OK, half of you were me to mean, the other half were mean to yourselves because that was shit.”
The runway: Clash of the tartans
The runway was as eventful as ever, and everyone seemed to have different takes on “clashing patterns,” some more overt than others.
Ruth, standing eye-level to a redwood or perhaps the Sears Tower, wore a green, skin-tight body suit with two large leaves where her hands should have been. Her face was centered (Teletubbies sun-baby style) in the middle of a flower that formed around it, each petal a subtly different fabric. It was campy and massive — not super pattern clash-y but really fun.
The judges said Frisbee had the strongest runway. Another quintessential ’80s look down to the voluminous pink permed hair. She wore neon green leggings with black polka dots, a zebra bodysuit over them, and a cropped black jacket with purple puff sleeves, ornamental pink bows spread around it. Don’t ask me how it worked, but it did. Her taste level is really impressive, because what I just described sounds insane.
Erotica did something really new for her and went in a club kid direction. She wore a printed ski mask-shaped head covering that became an interestingly fitted top. Under it she had an aquamarine shimmering skirt over yellow leggings and black fishnets. I appreciated how far she took it, purple gloves, crown, and all. If you’re asking this reporter’s opinion — which I’m sure you are — even though I respected the direction I just couldn’t get into it. I think the print just read as too Lily Pulitzer and that took me out.
Virgo wore something way more subdued: a black, tight, long-sleeved jumpsuit with white polka dots. Around her waist there was a corset (and cape?) with an inverse pattern of larger black polka dots. The judges thought the patterns weren’t clashing enough and I had to agree. It looked too fashion; she didn’t look crazy, just hot. Not that I was complaining in the moment.
When the bottom was announced as Virgo and Erotica, no one was surprised. Like I said, hard night. Frisbee and Ruth did put on an amazing show to a Kylie Minogue song. Frisbee won her second lipsync, though it could be argued that Ruth was at a disadvantage, being a shrub and all.
When Frisbee took out the lipstick she reminded the crowd how she had decided to play the game: “I said I was gonna do this based on track record.” And so showing the name was almost unnecessary. Erotica stifled tears and hugged her competitor. Frisbee said her name. Erotica was going home.
Kimmy took time to do an extra shout-out for Erotica, rallying the bar to their feet. She took a minute to truly honor the queen for her time in Star Search: her lip syncs, her star power, and for bringing much-needed Black representation to the competition and doing it so well.
“There is only one Erotica Divine,” Kimmy said, the crowd cheering. “Give it up for the fan favorite!”
This is usually when I tell you to be at the bar this Sunday — but wait! This week, the queens have a break to prepare for the final episode, so they won’t be there and neither will I.
Whether you’ve been on the fence about attending a drag show in the past, have only been a couple times or are an Iowa drag superfan — you have to come out to the finale Oct. 27. I’m telling you, you won’t regret it. I wanna see a packed bar the Sunday after next.
No pressure, girls, but we’re expecting a show.
