When I was young I sought out music that had any hint of eroticism. I remember Merril Bainbridge’s “Mouth” giving me shivers: “When I kiss your mouth, I want to taste it.” I was entranced. Could lips be salty? I wondered. With neither an internet connection, the money for audio cassettes nor the ability to buy anything with a PARENTAL ADVISORY warning, I was forced to record songs off the local pop station, with all the juicy phrases muted or swapped out for less interesting ones. My 15-year-old self would have been utterly chuffed to get my hands on some of these beauties.
So, in honor of being old enough to buy your own music, no matter how filthy it is, here are 12 downright dirty songs to warm you up as the weather cools down. To confuse the undergrads and upset your neighbors, go forth and blast this playlist from your open car windows.
“Jack U Off” – Prince
“If your man ain’t no good / Come on over to my neighborhood / We can jump in the sack / And I’ll jack you off”
Prince: upsetting prudish people since “Darling Nikki” scandalized Tipper Gore. When you’re done listening to the original “Jack U Off,” check out Robyn’s amazing cover.
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“Fuck the Pain Away” – Peaches
“Sucking on my titties like you wanted me / calling me all the time”
Most of Peaches’ songs are explicit in one way or another, but “Fuck the Pain Away” is a true classic. Bonus credit: On her guest spot on Pink’s “Oh My God,” she intones, “It’s a slick ride / make my mink slide / ‘cause were all pink inside.” Oh Peaches, never change.
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“My Neck, My Back” – Khia
“Just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now / lick it good suck this pussy, just like you should”
This may have been a one-hit wonder, but it’s endlessly relistenable. There aren’t enough songs about cunnilingus in the world.
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“Dance (A$$)” – Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj
“Somebody point me to the best ass-eater / I tell ‘im pussy clean! I tell them pussy squeaky!”
This butt-loving anthem is raunchy and fun, but Nicki Minaj’s verses are standout for sure.
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“Bedroom Hymns” – Florence and the Machine
“Make me your Maria / I’m already on my knees”
This anthem to sexual worship was one of the best tracks on Ceremonials.
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“Drive” – Melissa Ferrick
“I haven’t even tied you up / I haven’t even turned you over / this is where I want to live / right here between your hips”
It is generally agreed amongst many women-loving women that Melissa Ferrick is the Barry White of lesbians, and this song is the reason why.
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“Romantic Death” – The Sun
“Fucking to a beat / so much blood collected in this short time connected / making little kiddy zombies”
This sexy song is only made hotter by the throbbing, pulsing bassline. Bonus Credit: The music video is nothing but people’s faces as they masturbate and come. You’re welcome.
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“Closer” – Nine Inch Nails
“I want to feel you from the inside / I want to fuck you like an animal”
Filthy and dark. A classic.
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“Lick My Love Pump” – Kim Boekbinder
“Let’s just fuck / like we did before / let’s just fuck / until we’re good and sore”
If you can stop being hypnotized by Kim Boekbinder’s throaty voice for the duration of this song, you will realize that it’s a story of a marriage dissolved. The title, of course, is a reference to This Is Spinal Tap.
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“Gently Johnny” – The Wicker Man OST
“I put my hand o-on her belly / and she says, do you want to fill me?”
This folk song from 1973 horror flick The Wicker Man is not the only bawdy tune in the movie, but it is the creepiest, given that it’s sung by a group of villagers to serenade lovers banging directly above their heads.
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“Play” – David Banner
“Bend it on over, lemme see it from the back / work your thumb in it girl, I love it like that”
A gloriously filthy romp. It’s hard to imagine a radio-friendly version of this song, but there is one—it’s just not worth a minute of your time.
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“Book of the Month” – Lovage
“I’ll turn you on like the electric company / you are the bitter, I am the sweet / flick on the switch and light your pilot light / you are the griddle, I am the meat”
This song borders on erotic parody but ends with gasping and moaning. Stamp of approval.
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Carmen Maria Machado is a fiction writer and essayist whose work has appeared or is forthcoming in AGNI, The American Reader, Tin House’s Open Bar, Five Chapters, Best Women’s Erotica 2012, VICE, The Paris Review Daily, The Hairpin, The Rumpus, Los Angeles Review of Books and many other publications. She is a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she was a Dean’s Graduate Fellow, and the Clarion Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers’ Workshop.
