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Johnson County’s most honest, oblivious resident happens to live in Iowa City


-- photo by Alan Light
An alleged pill pusher…or entrepreneur? — photo by Alan Light

There’s honesty, and then there’s the sort of oblivious honesty that leads to an arrest, drug charges and a bit of head scratching. Daniel Noehl of Iowa City learned this lesson well after requesting aid from the Iowa City Police Department this weekend.

Unaware that “selling drugs” actually makes one a “drug dealer,” Noehl called the Iowa City Police Department on the morning of October 6 to report that a friend had not yet paid him for an estimated 230 prescription pills, previously exchanged. According to the criminal complaint report, Noehl had given the pills to a friend with the understanding that he would receive $1.25 per pill sold (business acumen).

While waiting for the police to arrive, a concerned Noehl called police “three or four times to see what was taking so long,” the report claims. This sounds a little spastic, but to be fair, we’re talking a lot of pills here, and it must be frustrating to see such an immaculate business plan (giving away a shitload of pills, waiting) just fall apart like that.

When police arrived, Noehl mentioned that he was unaware that it is illegal to sell prescription medication, which is pretty evident given the context. He later pointed out that if he knew that such an act were illegal, he “would have sold them a long time ago when [he] was on drugs,” police say.

Honest Noehl then pointed out that he had smoked crack cocaine “as recently as Wednesday,” according to the report, which is really not “a long time ago” when you think about it — especially on crack cocaine.

Noehl was charged with a serious misdemeanor for his alleged role in the distribution of prescription drugs.


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