Dear Kiki: Providing high-pleasure sexual experiences

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Questions about love and sex in the city of Iowa City can be sent to (queries can also be sent anonymously using this form). Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online.

Dear Kiki

Dear Kiki,

I’m dating a cis woman but I want to keep my fingernails long, what do I do?

— Best Regards, Womanicure

Dear Womanicure,

The simplest answer to this question is to give yourself a “lesbian manicure.” Basically this means the fingers you use to pleasure your lady should be kept short and neat, and all other fingernails can be grown long and painted or whatever you want to do. Another approach is to keep one whole hand short, one long, which is a bit less obvious. It’s compromise, I know, but will save you and your lady a lot of trouble.

If you insist on keeping a full set of kitchen knives on the ends of your fingers, some ladies use a latex or nitrile glove or finger cots with pieces of cotton ball shoved around the nail inside the glove for a low-tech, high-pleasure experience. Throw some lube in the glove for added sensitivity on your end. This will also protect your nails from breaking if things get rough. Keep in mind that while getting your lady off the old fashioned way can be done with long nails (slowly and with a lot of communication), you should not insert an un-gloved, long or sharp nail into anyone’s butt, ever.

There are also a few devices you can purchase to give you gals a hand. Enter the digital age with the Fukoku 9000 finger vibrator or the Bang Bang Vibrating G-Spot Glove. These toys slip over your finger(s) and turn them into something a bit more exciting. But for your everyday, picnic blanket/backseat/Sunday morning kind of romp, the best advice I can give you is to keep ‘em short, neat and clean, and no harm shall come to thy lady’s undercarriage.

Dear Kiki,

I heard that women have “clitoral legs” in the pelvis that also respond to stimulation. I’ve never heard this before and want to know what else I’ve been missing.

— Signed, Conspirator of Pleasure

Dear Conspirator,

What you heard is true: The part of the clitoris that we can usually see, the glans, is just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, female anatomy contains as much sensitive erectile tissue as a man’s penis, but distributed differently throughout the pelvis. In addition to the glans, there are the corpus cavernosum, two crura, or legs (crus when referring to the structure as a whole), and the clitoral vestibules or bulbs. This profusion of erectile tissue is one of the reasons it takes a bit longer for some women to get fully aroused or have orgasms, and why it pays to make the extra effort. The subterranean anatomy becomes erect when stimulated, is involved in female ejaculation and multiple orgasm and is what causes “the G-spot” sensation.

As always, the best way to find out how it works is hands-on (see above for tips on that) and asking individual women (who you’re intimate with — not just anyone on the street, c’mon now) what feels good for them. Female anatomy can vary wildly, and what is fireworks for one woman may be painful or uninteresting for another.

Good luck in there, everybody.
— xoxo, Kiki

This article was originally published in Little Village issue 205.

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