This is going to sound like bragging, but my appearance is intrinsic to my kink. I’m a gay male gymnast. Most of the guys on my college team are annoyed by the kind of objectification we routinely come in for. (We actually don’t want to be auctioned off at yet another sorority fundraiser, thanks.) But […]
Savage Love
Savage Love: Jackhammer
Savage Love: The affairs

I’m a 35-year-old divorced man. I’ve been on plenty of dates since my marriage ended, but I invariably get asked this question on or before date #2: “Why did you get divorced?” This is where everything goes to shit. I’m honest: “We got divorced because I cheated on my wife. A lot.” This usually catches my date off guard because I’m “not the kind of guy I’d have thought could do that.” But I can hardly get past date #2 after this, because this information is “too much to handle.” Sometimes my dates will admit to having cheated too. Not even other cheaters are interested in seeing me again. […]
Savage Love: Car Talk
Savage Love: Teaching moment
Savage Love: Angry girls and diaper pals

I consider myself a straight guy — but for the last four years, I’ve been having an affair with “Connie,” a trans girl I met online. It was just casual at first, but over time we developed a deeper personal relationship but kept it hidden. At some point, I figured out she was in love with me. I love her too, but I don’t think I am “in love” with her. Several weeks ago… […]
Savage Love: Never enough

I think my husband is addicted to porn. I find porn in his browser history almost every single day. He says I’m the only one he wants, but I find that hard to believe knowing he watches nonstop porn before fucking me. He also parties every time he goes on a business trip. Needless to say, I also suspect he cheats. He says he would never cheat on me because he “doesn’t need to.” But what does that mean? […]
Savage Love: Loving couples
Savage Love: Sick and easy
Savage Love: Daddy issues
Savage Love: The ethical sadist

My 15-year-old son has been watching sadistic porn—and ONLY sadistic porn—for a couple of years. He also tells us (husband and me) that, though he’s not had sex (which he defines as penetration), he’s had oral sex, handjobs, etc., and that he didn’t “flash on” violent images at those times. But he says he thinks about this type of porn all the time—all day, every day—and fantasizes about doing sadistic things to the girls he dates. This all came out as we started having conversations about respect and dating! I proceeded to freak the hell out (though not around him). As the mom and as a woman, I’m upset. I want information, but it makes me sick to read about sexual violence. Particularly when I know there’s an unwilling partner involved, as my son hints he prefers—gang rapes are an example. […]