Little Big Screen: ‘Jennifer’s Body’ and other Diablo-Coded movies to stream this month

Still from ‘Jennifer’s Body’ (2009), 20th Century Fox

“Former Student Assistant Wins Oscar” reads the headline on a University of Iowa Libraries blog from February 26, 2008. Diablo Cody, the former student assistant, had written exactly one screenplay, Juno, and now had won exactly one Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay.

Cody cashed in that golden ticket to get Jennifer’s Body made. The horror-comedy bombed upon release in September 2009 but has since been embraced as a cult classic. Whatever, it was always good. To celebrate the 15th birthday of Cody’s best, Little Big Screen is showcasing Diablo-Coded streaming picks that are all about cutthroat teens and arterial spray.

YouTube video — Trailer for Jennifer’s Body

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Directed by Karyn Kusama and written by Diablo Cody

Jennifer’s Body isn’t about the “rawr” of it all. But this wide shot of the late aughts — written as the Hot Topic bubble swelled, and released in theaters as that bubble burst — captures the stupid, toxic essence of mainstream emo better than any MySpace mirror pic.

And yes, that’s Pete Wentz on the wall. Here, in Jennifer’s bedroom, inhabiting Jennifer’s body, Megan Fox more than looks the part — she’s possessed. You understand the concept of cosmic purpose whenever Diablo Cody’s dialogue drips from her mouth: “It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been fucking?” That last word lands like a loogie; the keys to a 2003 Chrysler Sebring dangle in Jennifer’s hand. She’s in the process of stealing Needy (Amanda Seyfried) away from her boyfriend. The two BFFs are off to see an indie band at the type of small-town establishment that serves 9/11 tribute shooters in two tall shot glasses.

The lead singer (Adam Brody, under heavy eye makeup) ends up inviting Jennifer, the band’s biggest fan in Devil’s Kettle, Minnesota, and actual cheerleader at Devil’s Kettle High School, back to their tour van. You can do nothing but watch her face as the doors slam shut. Soon she’s bruised, bloodied, barfing up black stuff. The soulless sellouts have attempted to offer Jennifer as a virgin sacrifice in exchange for Maroon 5 fame. On account of not being a virgin, she’s survived the sacrifice and been reborn as the girl from every emo song ever — a man-eater, heartless monster, literal devil, etc.

Cody’s slangy script keeps its forked tongue firmly in cheek while Jennifer chews through boys from school. One of them is a Gerard Way wannabe. You hear his studded belt hit the floor of their rendezvous. “Nice hardware, Ace,” Jennifer hisses. Like the protagonist of every emo song ever, he gets his heart ripped out. Only this time the girl’s jaw distends halfway down her face, and the guy’s blood really does splatter all over his arm warmers.

Stream it on Hulu.

Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

Directed by Michael Patrick Jann and written by Lona Williams

This mockumentary has juuust enough gee-whiz gloss to get away with some ruthless gags. A local news crew has arrived in Mount Rose, Minnesota — same made-up school district as Devil’s Kettle? — to cover the town’s annual teen beauty pageant. But the chase for the crown becomes a matter of life and very violent death. On one side of the stage and socio-economic hierarchy, there’s Kirsten Dunst as Amber Atkins, trailer-park princess and part-time mortuary MUA. On the other side, there’s Denise Richards as Becky Leeman, dead-eyed thoroughbred and deadeye president of the Lutheran Sisterhood Gun Club. “Mom gave me this 9-mil for my 13th birthday,” Becky delivers direct to camera. “I’ll always remember what she put on the card: ‘Jesus loves winners.’ That’s why no matter what I do, I aim to win.” Then there’s also Ellen Barkin, Kirstie Alley, Allison Janney, Brittany Murphy and Amy Adams. They’re all doing Minnesota O’s.

Stream it on AppleTV+.

Heathers (1989)

Directed by Michael Lehmann and written by Daniel Waters

It’s 2012 and cameras are rolling on what would become the first season of Vanderpump Rules. Stassi Schroeder’s on-again off-again boyfriend has just accused her of being the devil. “I am the devil,” she spits back, between sips of pinot grigio. “And don’t you forget it.” Heathers was released in 1989, a few months before Stassi’s first birthday, but the film’s influence can’t be overstated, even today, even on Bravo. Stassi, the top of her restaurant’s food chain, had so totally channeled Heather Chandler (Kim Walker), the top of her fictional lunch room’s food chain, that this on-screen persona was already second nature. Heathers has as many quotables as any movie, and across media, maybe only 2007 Lil Wayne would have more. But basically all the best ones come from Heather C. — from burning questions like, “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” to confessional-ready comments like, “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.”

Stream it on Tubi.

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Directed by Amy Holden Jones and written by Rita Mae Brown

Amy Holden Jones got her big break when Steven Spielberg offered her the editing gig on E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Then she turned him down — for the chance to direct her own feature,The Slumber Party Massacre. And I mean it when I tell you that she was right. All you need to know about the plot is in the title. The script, evidently written as pure parody by poet and novelist Rita Mae Brown, was instead directed with the oomph of someone who had just ditched E.T. The result, among slasher royalty, remains the queen bee of the genre. In one scene at the titular slumber party, in the middle of the titular massacre, the doorbell rings. The girls open the door. The body of a pizza delivery boy falls lifeless into the living room. Both of his eyes have been turned into tunnels by the killer’s comically phallic power drill. “He’s so cold,” says one of the girls. “Is the pizza?” asks another.

Stream it on Shudder.